Interlude....stuff this Meztiza likes...

1. 4.5" platform heels...and not the cheap ones either!

2. 18-year old single- malt scotch, neat.

3. Oysters.

4. Running shoes.

5. Massage oil.

6. Batting gloves.

7. Tapas.

8. Puppies.

9. Cappuccino.

10. Bike rides across the Golden Gate Bridge.

11. Guys with a self-deprecating sense of humor.

12. Vino rosso, de Napa Valley.

13. Muscle cars.

14. A good laugh.

15. Honesty.

16. Los Amigos Invisibles.

17. HGTV.

18. International travel.

19. Foggy mornings at Fort Funston with Tyson.

20. Falling in love.

21. Pozole.

22. Samba....

23. Knowing when to walk away, and with no regrets.

24. "Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped"- Anonymous.

25. Close friends who live far, far away.

The Long Hot Summer...

You couldn't tame me, but you taught me.

I try not to crap in my own backyard but sometimes it can't be helped. Today was the day of exes. A little background...I met my last ex a few years ago, we both sit on a volunteer board, but haven't seen one another since the breakup in February. I anticipated a strange encounter and planned to bail before he showed up to today's event. Usually I'm not shy, but because of the way we left things I dreaded seeing him; wondering if all those feelings of hurt, disappointment, anger and maybe a little latent feelings for him would surface. Our brief exchange taught me a few lessons for today...after the breakup, there was little closure for me. I was trying to understand what happened and why things ended the way they did. It's not that we didn't get along, have a lot in common or spend a lot of time with one another. I think for him, he just wasn't in love...but, who really knows? What I realize now is that, sometimes you just don't get an answer, that sometimes it just is what it is and there's no explaining what you feel in your heart and your mind. The second thing I learned today? I was way too hot for him. LOL.

Double-X
The ex-ex and I hung out this afternoon. Our friendship is probably healthier than our actual relationship which lasted close to a decade, ever was. I didn't think I could ever stay friends nor want to spend time with someone I used to date. But this one's pretty unique. On the plus side, we can speak openly about our goals, dreams, fears and frustrations. We support each other with advice, and know each other really well, or at least well enough to see through each other's crap and know when the other person isn't being genuine. I can't say what exactly it is that works, but it does. Maybe it's because he was a terrible boyfriend, maybe it was because he never really grew up, who knows what is good, or what is bad? He's another lesson for today, when you take sex out of the picture, it really simplifies things.

AZN Lover Punto Com

You won't find this guy on AZNLOVER.COM, but he's hot right? So today's SF Chronicle had me cracking up, then when I thought about it more, I had to comment. For years, my coworkers, friends, boyfriends and exes have been talking about how hard Asian men have it when it comes to dating. Like my cousin says, "their women don't want them, why should I"? I know that's f-ed up right? Asian men and Latinas have this in common: our sexuality is captured in several very tired stereotypes, Asians: the effeminate, kung fu, super nerd and us, the oversexed Latina sexpot as played by Salma Hayek, Eva Mendez, J-ghetto booty-Lo and Conchita Alonzo. Stereotypes aside, there is an entire pool of eligible men in this wonderfully diverse city of ours. It's no secret to my friends and others who know me, Asian guys have a thing for me...I actually see and talk to them! I don't buy into the stereotypes and neither should you. I can't help but wonder, in a city as diverse as ours and in a world that's increasingly growing smaller...

Why are we still hung up on race?
Today's article on interracial dating http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/06/18/apop.DTL&hw=Asian+dating&sn=001&sc=1000 discusses the novelty and public reaction when non-Asian women are seen dating Asian men. Even in a city as diverse as SF, 10 years ago when I was dating my first Chinese guy, we definitely got some looks. We didn't necessarily reject the attention, but it did get annoying when my friends kept asking how well endowed he was. No worries ladies, that stereotype is definitely false.

In my experience growing up in SF, I've understood the Chinese culture in particular to be ethnocentric, insular, and holding onto tradition, particularly the older generation despite an increase in interracial dating. This holds true for many Latin-american families as well and there's nothing wrong with cultural preservation, so long as its not rooted in racism and discrimination. Intentions here become really important.

The sad part is that this was a major reason for the failure of my last relationship. Despite being an educated, successful and rather attractive and witty young woman (not to mention my humility) I thought my culture and his had a lot in common. I guess it all depends on how you approach the whole thing. My parents weren't necessarily thrilled but I handled it openly from the beginning, he did not, he kind of just sprung it on his parents by brining me to a family function- a wedding no less. Talk about awkward!

Essentially, I've learned this, if family is important to you, you'll eventually figure out a way to make it work. I don't hold any grudges, and I'm definitely keeping the option open. I am however curious as to what your experiences have been dating cross-culturally. Post your comments and enlighten us with your experiences. Does it work? What do you do if the parents absolutely flip out? How are your friends reacting? Who cares? Talk to me people.

Ah yes, and if you're curious, enlightened or otherwise seeking to meet Asian men, check out the website http://aznlover.com/. My friend also runs a website called Asiandating.com (not sure if that's the URL, I'll confirm and update the post later!

Guys playing hard to get...WTF?

An insight. Since I began dating again, it seems like the only guys I am interested in are the ones who show little interest in me: they are too busy to spend time with their jobs and hobbies, or are seeing many other women/friends, whatever. I'm a busy girl too, so this arrangement seems to have worked before I dated the 9 to 5-er. He spoiled me! Can't say I've ever spent that much time with a boyfriend or shared that many interests, hobbies and friends. I think I was looking for something different, a relationship where I can retain my autonomy but also enjoy companionship and friendship.

I'm not sure how I realized it, maybe after this past sunny weekend in San Diego that I figured out that I no longer wish to play the game. Not that I'm even looking for a long-term relationship, but the tricky thing about dating is that if you see someone over a specific amount of time, eventually feelings will grow or dissipate. My feelings were growing and he was getting more and more aloof. I decided it was time to move on. Clean, before anyone gets hurt.

And then, there was one.

Carnaval in SF

Always wanted to dance at Carnaval. We had such a great time hanging out with the family in the Mission. Enjoy the photos.